Tag: oscar-wilde

The Picture of Dorian Gray – Chapter 3

Who makes your story what it is?
It’s nice to think that we’re in charge of our own lives. We have the right to think, choose, and believe what we want. Is that really true, though? Or, like Dorian Gray, are we shaped by the sounds around us? Some are good, some are bad, but they all leave their mark on the person we become.

We learn more about how Dorian changes in Chapter 3 of The Picture of Dorian Gray. There is still something different about the young, attractive guy who has Basil Hallward’s attention. He is now influenced by Lord Henry Wotton, a man whose words are more important than his deeds and whose philosophy pulls people in instead of pushing them.

A bad idea is what starts Dorian’s path toward self-indulgence, not a single bad deed. A whisper. Just a thought. You should be certain that pleasure is the most important thing, that morality is a lie, and that your sole responsibility is to yourself.

This is the real start of his fall.

How Chapter 3 Shows Us Our Own Lives Through the Power of Words

At the beginning of the chapter, Lord Henry goes to see his uncle, Lord Fermor, to find out more about Dorian’s family history. Here, we learn about Dorian’s sad family history. His mother, Margaret Devereux, was incredibly beautiful, but she broke society norms by falling in love with a lowly soldier. This love wasn’t meant to last. It seems likely that her father, Lord Kelso, set up the fight between the soldier and the officer to kill him. Soon after, Margaret died of a broken heart, leaving Dorian alone.

Dorian grew up in a home without love and was cared for by his cold and mean grandpa. He never got the kind of loving guidance that helps a young person become strong, self-aware, and moral. Instead, he acquired wealth, beauty, and, perhaps most dangerously, a need for admiration and respect.

Lord Henry steps into this emotional hole.

At a fancy lunch later in the chapter, Henry gives one of his most alluring talks yet. He tells them that pain has no purpose, that morals is made up, and that they should only live their lives for fun. People around him can hear him without having to shout. His words, which are full of charm and wit, stick in their minds. Dorian pays close attention because he is already fascinated by Henry’s ideas. The changes are already happening.

But let’s take a break from the book for a while. Let’s look at ourselves through the lens of the story.

Who has made you who you are?

Chance vs. Fate: How Much of Us Is Really Ours?

Dorian wasn’t bad from the start. He wasn’t meant to be vain or careless. He was weak, though. He was a perfect subject for Henry’s theory because he didn’t have any family love, he loved beauty, and he wanted to fit in.

Are we really that different?

Remember things from your own life. Could it have been a teacher, a friend, or a mentor? Did their words ever change the way you saw the world?

Someone may have given you ideas, encouraged you to be the best version of yourself, and opened your eyes to new opportunities.

Or maybe, like Lord Henry, someone put a seed in you that made you want to hurt yourself. Perhaps it was a friend who encouraged you to disregard your intuition, a relationship that forced you to compromise your principles in order to blend in, or an idea that led you to believe that happiness solely hinged on receiving approval from others.

Dorian picks to pay attention to Lord Henry. He chooses to yield to Lord Henry’s influence.

The main difference between fiction and real life, though, is that we can see these effects before they make us who we are.

Self-Reflection Activity: Who Has Had an Impact on You?

Take some time to think. Write in a journal or just think about these questions as you sit down:

• Who in your life has had the most impact on what you believe?
• Did they have a good or bad effect? Or both?
• Did they make you more like who you are, or did they try to change you into someone you weren’t supposed to be?
• If you think about it now, do you think their words helped you, or did they make you feel less like yourself?
  

Now, picture for a second that Dorian had never met Lord Henry. Imagine that instead of Henry’s alluring ideas, Dorian had a mentor who showed him the value of being kind, strong, and having self-worth above all else.

Would he have picked the same things?

Would he have changed into the same person?

And if we think about our own lives, what would have happened if we had listened to different voices?

Finding the Right Balance Between Self-Discovery and Outside Influence

Lord Henry tells Dorian that the most important task is to be oneself. We shouldn’t let fear or moral rules stop us from going after what we want. This way of thinking seems freeing at first glance—who wouldn’t want to live their life without regrets?

However, going after joy without thinking about it can be dangerous.

Yes, we owe it to ourselves to find out who we are, get what we want, and decide what makes us happy. But are we really free if we do things without thinking about how they will affect us, other people, or our future? Or are we just trying to avoid taking responsibility?

Balance is key to growing as a person. It’s about being happy while also being aware of what we’re changing into. In contrast to Dorian, we can think about the opinions we let into our lives. We can pick to listen to people who will help us grow instead of people who will hurt us.

Last Words: Are We Free or Are We Dorian?

Dorian is still on the verge of changing at this point in the book. He hasn’t done any really bad things yet. He’s not yet the kind of man who will hide his picture out of fear. But things have started to change.

He is no longer just himself; what Lord Henry said has become a part of him.

How about you?

You should be living your own truth. Are you still hearing someone else’s voice?

We are not stuck in a book like Dorian is. We don’t have to let what other people say about us define us. We can choose to forget things that don’t help us. We are empowered to change our own stories.

Finally, as you leave this part of the book and this time for thought, ask yourself:

What do you want to be?
Whose voice are you going to let shape that answer?

Let’s read. Let us think. Let us get bigger.

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